PRECIOUS TIME...

So they're all here. Well, almost all...not quite everyone could make it - we'll miss you, Tony, Jen, and Brandon! In contrast to a "smaller than usual" Thanksgiving gathering (for which we only had 22 people), we have a "larger than usual" Christmas dinner planned. In fact, for the first time ever, we're not having the meal at anyone's house. With 47 people, none of us has enough room! Justin was able to secure use of the fire hall, so we'll have lots of space to enjoy the time together.

And that enjoyment is a good portion of what it's about. Yes, we celebrate the birth of Jesus, and though we don't know whether that actually occurred in December, we do know that it happened. Yes, we worship God for sending His Son in the perfect redemptive plan, a plan that was in existence long before Christ was incarnate.

In a tangible way, we can express our love for God by demonstrating it to those around us. Whether by hugging those who drove in from Ohio or Pennsylvania (or even Saranac Lake), or by letting one of the younger ones sleep on my belly whenever he wants to, or just by watching the kids burn off all of their excess energy, being there is great fun, and the time together is something we never want to end. Of course, we all know that the days will arrive later in the week when these "adult kids" must return to their own homes, but for now we're just pretending that's not true!

Today, tonight, and tomorrow, we're all kids again, and this is home. What must happen Wednesday and thereafter need not be mentioned now.

Have a great Christmas eve, and a very merry Christmas. I know we will.

RELATIVISM

I recently had a take-home exam for the class in which I'm enrolled this semester. It was given to us mid-day on a Friday, and due at noon (or thereabouts) on Monday. What resulted, for me at least, was 72 hours of frantic mental exercise. When I went to the professor's office to give him my paper at 12:30 on Monday, my brain was literally tired!

A few days later, we got our exams back. My grade was a 70 (out of 95 points total, according to the points summary). That was a bit discouraging, until I found out that the average was a 40, and so scores above that would generally be an A.

So I'm thinking that, relative to others, I did quite well, it seems. This is a frightening way of thinking, and one I've always had trouble with as an educator, and as a Christian. In my own classes, I set expectations that are related to some absolute criterion. Now, I also reflect and evaluate myself to see if students' grades are a product of their own efforts or my failure to teach effectively. As a result, I always try to be a better teacher today than I was yesterday so my students can understand the material I'm attempting to teach.

As Christians, if we don't have some absolute criteria by which we gauge our progress at "living", then we'll be very disappointed when it is time for our "ultimate final exam." God is not going to judge us by how our lives compared to others, but rather by how our lives compared to His (absolute) instructions. (In that respect, I suppose he may actually be comparing us to ONE other person, Jesus, Who lived those instructions for us during His time on earth.)

Do we look at others and think, "I'm just fine!"? Are we more spiritual than most people, and so we think our final assessment should be very good "after the curve"?

The standard has been set, and there will be no curve. It's a completely objective grading system, but "whosoever believeth in Him" can pass and receive "everlasting life." John 3:16 - check it out...

A BRIEF RESPITE...

My body is tired, my mind is confused;
I feel as if I have been greatly abused!
My back is so sore and my head has an ache,
You see, it's been weeks since I've had a short break!

Today I'll go home with no school work to do,
Maybe I'll sleep! Perhaps, talk to you!
Although I like math, there just comes a time
When I want it to be "out of sight, out of mind"!

I still "work" tomorrow - a meeting, a class,
But I'll be relaxed; I think I will pass!
And then I'll enjoy a few days at home
With loved ones and laughter - some time of my own!

And, in case you didn't pick up on it, I'm really looking forward to it! :)

A POST OF SIGNIFICANCE?

It's no secret to people in my church and family that I've been struggling with . . . identity lately. Maybe it has to do with being officially "in my 40s", or maybe it's unrelated, but I've been trying to grasp a holistic and God-centered vision of who, or what, I'm supposed to be.

In the late 1980s, when I graduated from college, I knew that I wanted to be a high school math teacher. I did that. I don't regret those 15 years, and I feel like I impacted lives for the better. In the early stages of this new century, this new millennium, I began to feel some unrest. My job at Massena High School seemed frustrating. I was spending more time dealing with the "politics" of my job than I had before. Although I can be diplomatic when I need to be, I don't enjoy the sense that I have to "tip-toe through life" to avoid confrontation. I still haven't (and perhaps never will) completely quantified the reason(s) why I left Massena, and moved from K-12 education to higher education. It seemed to me that the doors I found open were Providential, and so I made the move. The enjoyable thing about my SUNY Potsdam position is the continued interaction with former colleagues and friends from my K-12 years.

So here's a trigger - this may seem strange if you weren't there, and you certainly weren't, but let me relate it anyway. When I was deciding to resign from my Massena position to accept the job at SUNY Potsdam, I had meetings with my principal and superintendent at Massena. I'd like to think that they wanted me to stay, and perhaps they did, but that was not the topic of conversation. They were both saying that I needed to do what was "right" for me. Interesting, this idea that society thinks we have to do what's "right" for "us." I was always taught that I had to do what's "right" in "God's plan", and I've always wanted to do just that. Anyway, in my conversation with the principal, a nice person with a nominal church connection, in my opinion, I was expressing my uncertainty about the actual reason(s) why I felt compelled to make this move, that I had not really identified them concretely. (As a math person, the need to quantify is strong for me; perhaps you can (or can't) relate to that.) Her response continues - now close to FIVE years later - to ring in my mind: "Do you think that you'll end up in some kind of church ministry?"

Where did that come from? Was God using a professional colleague to make me think? Or was it more direct than that? Does God want me to not just make a career "shift" (a term that I used in my resignation letter at Massena), but rather a complete career change? Has my move to a completely different type of position this year (teaching at Clarkson) been another step to prepare me for a bigger change?

I believe that God made me, and I believe He made me with certain character traits. One of those traits is a desire to know an answer definitely and concretely (see math person reference above). Thus, I do not believe He'll cause me to have these questions without providing answers. Many spiritually mature people in these last few months have told me that He'll make the way clear; I'm waiting for that to happen. Several have also said that I shouldn't rush into anything, and I don't intend to.

So I'm working hard at what I do. I prepare carefully for each math lesson, knowing that in the "big picture" what I'm doing may not seem to make a deep difference spiritually, but also knowing that I can set an example and a standard for my students and my colleagues. I complete my own assignments carefully, endeavoring to be the type of student that I would enjoy having enrolled in MY class. And, I continue to tell God (and others) that when He makes it clear what I'm supposed to be "when I grow up", that I'm all His.

My father had mentioned when I was younger that he wasn't sure he was originally supposed to be a preacher. He had an uncle (I think it was an uncle) whom dad felt was called to preach, but he never answered that call. Dad thought that he was called as a substitute for his uncle.

We have a lot of churches without pastors. We have several churches running lower numbers consistently than they used to. We have vacant mission fields with financial and personnel-related needs. We have American and world populations that are higher than they've ever been and, as Rowan Fay put it recently in Brushton revival, "many of them are regularly dropping into hell to burn forever."

It certainly doesn't sound glamorous, but if I'm supposed to be a "substitute", then I want to know that. If so, then I'll be sure to work just as hard at that job as I have as a teacher for these last 20 years.

A GOOD WEEK...

I guess I didn't realize that I never wrote a post last weekend, but that's not a surprise. Last week was horribly busy, and I was trying to catch up on sleep over the weekend. On Tuesday, October 16, I gave my first hourly exam in Differential Equations from 7-8. Since I'm a "nice teacher", I also held a review for the exam on Monday night. So, I didn't get home until after 9:00 on Monday (having left for work at 7 am), and I didn't get home Tuesday until...well...Wednesday morning at 12:45 am! Since we had been grading exams for almost four hours after the test, I couldn't "wind down" and get to sleep until after 2, then I had to get up at 5:45 to leave at 7 that morning too. To add insult to injury, we didn't even finish grading the 235 exams, so I had to work at that throughout the rest of the week and last weekend too. Needless to say, last weekend I was exhausted - maybe I'm just too old for the college life. The real glimmer in last week was that my professor extended our homework from being due on Thursday, October 18 to Thursday, October 25. That was great, since I just didn't have time to complete it, and I got it done for this week.

So, enter a new week. I was still tired in the early part of the week, but I didn't have late nights. Then Tuesday, the body shop called and my old car was ready, so I went in and picked it up. It was nice to have my "old friend" back. There is true freedom in driving an old car! I no longer have to worry about squeezing into a parking spot and wondering if I'll get a door ding; I can drag my dirty shoes over the door sill, making new scratches that just join the others; Wendy can kick the door open with her feet; life is good! It just rolled over 158,000 miles since I got it back, and it's running like a top!

Also Tuesday, before I got home, Motorola called and said they were replacing my phone. The new gold phone I had received as a free upgrade had flown out of its (defective) case while I was walking across campus a couple of weeks ago, and had skidded across the sidewalk, sending chills up my spine. I'd had it for less than a week when it happened, and it looked terrible (insert OCD problems here). I had contacted Motorola to see if they had any liability for it, since it was their case, and they said to send it for evaluation. They found the case to be "less than useful" according to the phone conversation, and were sending me a new phone and case.

Tuesday or Wednesday, I don't recall which, I received my new rebate card from AT&T (see my "Discarded Money" post from early October). So, now I have to spend it before it expires - heh heh!

Wednesday night, we began revival with the Tillises, which is always exciting. They have been tremendous friends over the years, no doubt sent from God, and their ministry is clearly anointed.

Thursday, I handed in a fully completed assignment that had originally been due the previous week, as I mentioned before. I really think it was all correct too, so that's exciting. The revival service Thursday night was excellent, with God's presence very clear throughout the evening.

Friday was a good day at school, although I was tired by 5:00 when I got home. My new phone arrived Friday (I don't like the new case either, but that's a minor inconvenience), and we had several visitors for our Friday night revival service. After the service, we went to McDonald's with Jon and Leah Catton (ljcatton.blogspot.com) and had a nice snack and a great time.

Now, it's Saturday morning, and except for a couple of errands, it won't have to be a jam-packed weekend. I guess I should get going on those errands, though...

PASSING TIME

Occasionally, I need to take breaks in my office. The hours can pass very quickly if I'm engaged in something and making progress, but otherwise it can seem like forever between 9:00 (I teach at 8, so I have to be there early) and 2:00 (the next time I teach on MWF). I do have office hours from 9-11, but there are days when people just don't need my help, apparently!

I sometimes take "standup breaks," or even "walk down the hall breaks," just for a change of scenery. The other day, during one such break, I was intrigued by the bright sun passing through the blinds on my window, and I took some pictures.

These pictures were particularly interesting to me when I looked at them later. The first one is a candy jar that I have in my office, and the patterns of light reflection and refraction that showed up in the jar's shadow were really neat (I thought)! The second one is a macro shot (that's a close-up, for you who are not photography buffs) of one candy in the actual jar. The third one is also a macro shot of the stylized "M" logo that Motorola uses on their products, in this case on the Razr cell phone I recently received as a plan upgrade.

How do you get rid of monotony in your workday?

ON DISCARDED MONEY AND HOMEWORK

Those topics seems quite unrelated, but they've both been on my mind this week. My homework for the course I'm taking is always due on Thursday, and so Thursday afternoons and evenings have become something like a mini-weekend for me. Even if I haven't completed the assignment perfectly, once it's submitted there's a sense of completion.... It's interesting how this deadline structures my week so intently.

Now, about discarded money. On Tuesday afternoon, I picked up a Cingular (now AT&T) rebate debit card that I had received a few months ago (March, I think) for upgrading one line on my mobile account. It was worth $100, and I had set it aside "for something special." Unfortunately, it had EXPIRED in August!! I was horrified....

After several hours of mental distraction, I finally decided to call AT&T, despite knowing it was all my fault for overlooking the expiration date. Their policy is to NOT reissue expired cards, I was told by more than one person; however, I kept getting transferred from person to person, as if they had some sympathy for my plight. I did ask (nicely) to speak to one lady's supervisor, and she put me on hold. After about two minutes, she came back and said her supervisor had approved her to REISSUE the card! What a relief!!

So, I'm asking for feedback (my first 'blog poll) - are you a rebate person? Do you think rebates are loaded to the companies' benefit? I really love rebates, and have had good luck with them, except when I'm STUPID! Let me know...

IT'S BEEN A WHOLE WEEK!

Last night, Wendy told me it had been too long since I had submitted a new post! So, like the dutiful husband that I am, I'll put something up today.

This week has been busy; I really wanted to put up some pictures from the retreat last weekend, and I still may do that. (They'd actually have to be Wendy's pictures, since I didn't take any.) We really had a great time Friday night, and got a lot of work done on Saturday as well. (Oh, and the food was tremendous!) Many hands truly do make light(er) work - I only wish we weren't all so busy, and could spend time together more regularly. I think it's healthy, but I don't have any degree to back up that hypothesis! Tomorrow the members of our adult Sunday School class are going leaf-peeping in Lake Placid and Saranac Lake - yet another September outing to keep us busy in the autumn of 2007!

We have a break at Clarkson Monday and Tuesday. In some ways, that's too bad, because Wendy's school break isn't until the Columbus Day weekend. But, I should be able to get more work done (which is what needs to happen over the "break") by myself. For today's PowerPoint that accompanies my lectures, I used a picture of a pencil snapped in two pieces for the background - "break" - get it? Yeah, they groaned too...

Now Wendy will be happy, I've passed a few minutes of time to write this, and the weekend is slightly closer than it was when I started. It's payday too, for an added bonus (I wore my smiley-face tie to celebrate). So long...

GEOMETRIC SERIES and RETREATS

I just noticed that the numbers of comments on my first three posts are (right now) a decreasing geometric sequence: 8, 4, 2. The real problem with a decreasing geometric sequence is that it tends to zero.... I guess the success of my 'blog was short-lived!

Wendy and I are eagerly anticipating going to Vermontville Camp this afternoon for a Northern Zone weekend retreat. In some contexts, a "retreat" is a bad thing; we don't like it when our troops are forced to retreat. However, in this context, it should be a very good thing. I'll reflect on it when we come back tomorrow afternoon, and perhaps share some pictures as well.

Weekends, in general, are great anyway. Retreat weekends add a new level to that greatness.

TOOTH RECONSTRUCTION...

Today I experienced another application of mathematics. I had a dentist appointment, as a follow-up to my wisdom tooth extractions in August. Although they also pulled one of the teeth in front of a wisdom tooth (on the left side), they left the one in on the right side, despite it having a HUGE cavity on the back. The dentist had said they would have to do CEREC, which meant nothing to me. (It's actually an acronym, check out http://www.cereconline.com/ for more information.)

After injecting me with "numb-stuff", and drilling for quite a while (isn't that sound tremendous, even when you can't feel it?), the dentist then took a digital picture of what was left of my tooth. His computer then calculated (from a template based on that particular tooth) what was missing, and designed (in 3-D) an implant on the screen - all done using mathematics, of course. Then a block of ceramic material was put in the mill, and the image was sent to the mill (kind of like sending a print job from your computer to your printer), and the mill poceeded to grind down the piece of ceramic until the chunk that was left would fit in perfectly to fill out my tooth!

Once they glued it in, they did a little grinding and buffing of the edges, and then I left. The whole thing took about an hour and a half, and cost me less than $300. Now that my tongue is not numb anymore, I can feel a couple of sharp spots, so I may have to go back for some more finishing work, but I now have a whole tooth again, or kind of....

IT CAN BE FIXED...

I got a bit of good news today. Two weeks ago tomorrow, on Tuesday, September 4, 2007, I had an accident in Potsdam. The other driver went through a stop sign and pulled out in front of me; I had the right-of-way. It was a low-speed collision, and no one was hurt, thank God, but since she was still moving when I hit her, she basically ripped all the "stuff" off the front of my old car. (I'm really thankful I wasn't driving the new one!!) As you can see from the picture, the old clunker is in pretty rough shape. It's a 1998 with about 160,000 miles, so I just figured it was totaled. It's the car I pile all of my miles on, so that was rather unfortunate.

So today, Allstate calls and says they're going to fix it! $2509 and change, and they're getting started as soon as the parts come in. I get my junker back, and my new car can go back where it belongs, IN THE GARAGE!! :)

Anyway, I thought you'd be interested in this tidbit. I actually thought about taking the money and just doing minimal work on the car, kind of driving around with an "I don't care!" attitude, but I guess I'll just let them make it look as presentable as it did before (which isn't very). I forgot to mention to the agent that before the accident, there was NO rust on it, NO squeaks or rattles, and the cassette player (that's right, CASSETTE player) didn't keep rejecting the adaptor I try to use in it. Oh, well...

So I can't promise regular posts, and I have no idea why, at 10:39 am on Friday, September 14, 2007, I have chosen to create my first one. I've recently started a new job at Clarkson University, so I certainly don't have the time...

Maybe it's this whole "being jolted" thing that's getting to me. I've been working here for three weeks, and there have been three of my quotes from class posted on the Daily Jolt. I guess I'm beginning to realize that no matter how busy people are (since I'm SURE my students are very busy working diligently on their assignments), they always find time to use the internet to communicate. Sometimes that communication is anonymous, sometimes personal, sometimes even intimate, but always there! Shouldn't I be a part of that??

Oh, right - what does it mean to "be jolted"? Well, there's this site called the Daily Jolt; since I work at Clarkson, our own version of it can be found at clarkson.dailyjolt.com. They have this option through which you can submit a professor quote that is added to the archived collection. Near the top of the page is a link to Prof Quotes. Since I teach MA232, Elementary Differential Equations, you can search for "232" (for some reason the name search doesn't seem to work properly). You'll find the quotes that have caught the attention of my students most poignantly somewhere on that list. Sadly (so far), none of them pertains to math.

Now that I've been jolted, others in my department have noticed. Some have said my students must like me to be on the Jolt. This is good. But if they like me, shouldn't there be LOTS of stuff on the Jolt? Now I'm confused. Since this is just a temporary job for me while I'm on leave, does it really matter if they like me? Should I be spending some of my preparation time now trying to think of creative things to say so I can end up on the Jolt?

So many questions are floating in my mind right now. I guess this post really pertains to the larger issue of how we communicate. Cell phones, online chatting, emails - even while I was on vacation at the lake this year, I had to make sure my cell phone was sitting in a place where I had service - WHY??

Well, I'm sure you have all of the answers! Can you share some with me, please? :)

And by the way, WELCOME TO HUBMUBLOG!

Oh, now it's 11:06 instead of 10:39, should I change it above? Oh, now it's 11:07... This is becoming a whole "thing" with my OCD...