Artistic Moment?

There's a beautiful patch of tiny lavender flowers in our yard right now.  I haven't mowed the grass yet, and I'm glad that the rain delayed me in that effort, otherwise I may never have seen this purple carpet!  After church tonight I decided to see if I could capture it - as it turns out, the sun was also low enough in the sky that it could be seen through the trees at the edge of our yard, so I thought I'd try to be a bit artistic.  Golden hour is a wonderful time to take pictures with soft, gentle lighting, and having the warm colors that it brings out makes this shot particularly appealing to me.  What do you think?

 

Mother's Day 2025

For a very long time, Mother's Day was a difficult Sunday for Wendy (and me); it's been nice to celebrate this special occasion differently over the last 16 years!  (In case you're wondering about my math, we actually did recognize Mother's Day in 2010, since Wendy's pregnancy was progressing well and seemingly without complication.  We were cautious about it, but we still have a framed collage of pictures from NYC that I had made to give her that morning.)

I believe that our circumstances prior to Mathias's birth in 2010 have made us more sensitive to the struggles that others deal with, and for that I'm thankful.  Mother's Day and Father's Day (as well as a lot of other specifically designated holidays), while well-meaning, can be painful reminders for individuals about what they didn't or couldn't, and the hype surrounding many of these events only makes the pain more excruciating.  We've tried to learn from our own experiences and put ourselves in others' shoes - it's not always easy, but it's the compassionate thing to do.

I hope you enjoy these pictures of a Mom sharing a beautiful afternoon with her "little boy."  💗

Morels, Again!

Imagine my excitement when I was collecting some crushed stone from the yard the other day and noticed a morel mushroom growing there, very near the same location where I had discovered the first one since we've lived here!  After it got my attention, I noticed that it had a neighbor as well.  I left these to grow for a couple more days because we were expecting rain, and today I harvested them.  Two of these halves were sauteed with a bit of onion and then cooked in with two scrambled eggs.  Unfortunately, though I had taken this picture of the mushrooms sliced in half, I didn't have the presence of mine, or perhaps just the patience, to take a picture of the finished dish before it ended up in my belly!

Now, of course, this means that Matty and I need to do some foraging this weekend...

It's Been A While...

It's been over 10 years since I added to this 'blog, but it seems like a good way to have a medium through which I can express and document some thoughts while I'm vacationing from Facebook.  Though comments will still be an option, the engagement level of any comment-based dialogue is significantly different here and I think that'll be helpful to disallow anything from happening like it so easily can on other social media platforms.

I've had some clear anxiety about "pulling the plug," even though I'm committed to it.  I have come to rely on Facebook's convenience and the interactions it facilitates between me and so many people who have come to be a part of my life over nearly 59 years of existence in the physical world.  But, that can still happen through Messenger (and likely more meaningfully and intentionally, rather than just out of reactionary convenience), and any "journaling" such as I often turn into Facebook posts can become 'blog entries instead.  For anyone new to this space I created back in 2007, you should be able to look back on any entries that may be of interest to you - perhaps you'll learn more about me and our little family of three than you already knew, including all of the challenges we faced to make that possible!

So this post is just a test, making sure that I still know how to type in a text box provided by a default template.  I'll probably try to share some pictures here as well, and I recall that being a bit more challenging with regard to proper alignment with text and other details that my "graphic designer" brain wants to be a specific way.  But I'll work on it, and I may ask for feedback (as in helpful critique) from anyone who would care to be part of that loop.

"Welcome back, Don!"

"Thank you, Don!"

😁

Coming Home...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010 was a day of mixed emotions.  Our third cycle of in vitro fertilization was over, and had been completely successful to this point.  Wendy was officially PUPO (see my post from the other day for an explanation), and we were officially in the "dreaded two-week wait" (2WW in the language of infertility).  It takes two weeks from the point of embryo transfer for a beta hCG to reveal if a pregnancy has resulted, so the final level of "success" of an IVF cycle is not known until that time has passed.

Thus, returning home was always difficult, as I mentioned in yesterday's post.  We were leaving the location that had already given birth to a heightened level of hope.  From our previous experiences, we had to remain cautiously optimistic, though perhaps we skewed our thoughts toward the caution more than the optimism.  At the same time, it felt very good to have realized the success in each stage to this point...

We slept until 8, since we could.  When we got back home, 5:30 a.m. wakeups would again be the norm.  While we had already prepared for our departure to some extent, and much of our luggage was already in the trunk of the car, we still had some packing and loading to do.  (When I say "we," I mean "me" - Wendy is mostly a supervisor in that regard!)  :)

Since we had enjoyed several breakfasts at the hotel, we skipped it this morning.  When we left around 10:00 in the morning, our first stop was a nearby IHOP, where we enjoyed our "last breakfast out" for this trip.  We ate well.  We were both giddy and subdued.  We were going home, and when we pulled out of the parking lot at IHOP, we headed the car north - we followed Route 208 for a few miles until we could catch I-287, then crossed the NJ-NY border where 287 becomes the Thruway, and barreled home as fast as we legally could, or perhaps just a bit faster.

A bit of a tradition had developed.  My dear Aunt Marilyn, who lives in Saranac Lake, was the first family member we had brought into our circle of confidence a couple of years prior when we were going to NYC for the first time, trying to determine some options for how we may proceed.  Because of that, we've always at least had contact with her on our trips, sometimes just calling her as we pass through Saranac Lake, but often trying to arrange a meal together, if time allows.  On this trip home, we actually went to her apartment and enjoyed a fine meal she prepared for us - spaghetti, Texas toast, and salad.  Then, we headed home from there, arriving in time to join our church family for the midweek service.  It was good to be home.

I miss Paul Harvey at times - I always enjoyed his "The Rest of the Story" segments!  So here it is, to put a more complete context on this series.  Wendy and I, in total, completed four cycles of IVF - the first was in December 2008; pregnancy resulted, and a miscarriage ended those dreams in February 2009.  Our second attempt was in the July of 2009; this cycle produced the best yield of embryos, but no pregnancy resulted, and embryos not transferred did not survive for a later attempt.  This third attempt in January 2010 was successful, in spite of having only two embryos to transfer; however, to add stress to the final stages of our quest to become parents, Mathias Joseph Straight arrived almost 10 weeks early, on August 9, 2010 (8-9-10, and at 9:08 in the morning).  He was not due until mid-October.  Our final cycle took place from July-August 2011, an attempt to provide Mathias with a sibling, from which no pregnancy resulted.  At the end of 2011, based on the recommendation of Wendy's rheumatologist, we discontinued our efforts so she could go on medication to manage her arthritis.

Now, five years after the end of this story, we have a VERY active four-year-old from whom we learn every day.  We are "older parents," and we acknowledge that freely.  But this gift we've been given - a little boy who calls Wendy "Mommy" and me "Daddy" - has helped to make our house a home.  For that, we are forever thankful.  If you've met Mathias, you know that he can warm the heart with a quick smile, a witty remark, or a deep belly laugh.  If you haven't met Mathias, I hope our paths can cross so you can experience some time with the love of our lives.  We hope that through our story, others can benefit, as we did from those who went before us...

http://youtu.be/NOp1Ytuhv-Q

 

A Completely Lazy Day - Doctor's Orders!

On Tuesday, January 26, 2010, Wendy and I had nothing to do, really!  Actually, on the day after embryo transfer there are no restrictions, and we could have come home.  But, for each of our cycles, we've taken that day as a de-stressing day, and just enjoyed having no agenda!  In the world of fertility treatments, the acronym describing Wendy's state of being at this time was PUPO - "pregnant until proven otherwise" - and we just enjoyed the day full of hope, knowing from previous experiences that it may not last as long as we wanted it to.

So, we got up around 8:00 in the morning, and just had breakfast at the hotel, a bagel and a waffle.  Wendy worked some more on grades, and I prepped for classes, since I'd be behind when we did return back; our spring semester had started yesterday, after all, and a colleague was graciously covering my first couple of classes.

We had leftover pizza for lunch, with more relaxation throughout the rest of the day.  At dinner time, we did order some food from Fairmount Eats in Hackensack, NJ, and I went to pick it up; some places delivered conveniently to the Ramada, but it wasn't quite as predictable as when we were in the city.  We enjoyed a quesadilla, mozzarella sticks, onion rings, chicken panini, fries, and a banana dessert.  Whenever we eat out, even though I order something and Wendy orders something, it's always a sharing process, and even more so when we're in a hotel room, and we don't have to be self conscious about eating off each other's plates!  :)

We began to prepare psychologically for the trip home tomorrow.  It's always difficult to leave the hopeful energy of an IVF cycle and return to the humdrum existence that is our lives, with a daily work grind, no housekeeping staff, a limited budget for restaurants, and so on, added to the reality that this might not "take."  But, we knew it was necessary, and we hoped that there were more than two of us along for that return trip...

It's Transfer Day!

On Monday, January 25, 2010, Wendy and I were able to sleep in until 8:00 a.m., which felt really good!  Once we became aware of our surroundings - we were back at the Ramada Inn, no longer in our classy (small) room at The Bentley - we also realized that it was raining something fierce outside!  And, there were very strong winds that we could practically feel, in spite of being in a very solid five-story building.

Not having to leave for the Center for a while, we tended to be a bit lazy this morning.  Unfortunately, the power went out just about the time we were going to get ready, so we got ready in the dark!  At least we had hot water, in spite of the lack of lights in the room...

Finally, we left the hotel a little before noon.  Our trip to the New York Presbyterian Hospital was especially long, since the poor weather caused traffic to be especially heavy and slow; we didn't get to our destination until 1:00 p.m.!

On arrival, I continued a tradition that we had started during our first IVF cycle - at that time (December 2008) we had two embryos to transfer, so we bought two tiny T-shirts at the Cornell University bookstore, one for each of our babies.  Since then, we had bought some memento each time, and this time we bought a stuffed teddy bear wearing a Cornell shirt!

Our appointment at the IVF suite was for 2:00 p.m., so we easily arrived on time.  The transfer took place without incident; one had progressed to contain six cells, and the other had eight cells.  These sizes are quite typical for a three-day transfer.  (We've often joked that probably Mathias was the six-cell embryo, since he was so tiny when he was born nearly 10 weeks early!)  :)

We left the suite around 3:30 p.m., with our babies "in tow."  Leaving the city is never as problematic as entering, seemingly, and we weren't in a hurry anyway, since we were just going back to the hotel to relax for the rest of the evening.  Wendy was supposed to take it easy for the rest of the day, as if she would have planned otherwise!  She finished her grading, and I went to Rite Aid for a few things, since we had one more day before we would head home.  We ordered a simple dinner from Dominos, and then just hung out at "home."  Tomorrow would be a purposefully lazy day, trying to give the babies a chance to get permanently settled, and then we'd head home on Wednesday, once again hopeful for what the future would have in store for us...

A Busy Sunday!

On Sunday, January 24, 2010 Wendy and I got up at 6:00 a.m. to hit the day hard.  Today was a "moving day," since we would be checking out of The Bentley Hotel in NYC and checking back in to the Ramada Inn in Rochelle Park, NJ.  In between those events, we would spend the day in Stone Ridge, NY with our friends the Hallenbecks!  Whew...

We have always enjoyed Jamie Hallenbeck's ministry when visiting their church - he has a thoughtful, well-prepared delivery that makes him easy to listen to, and he always has good things to say.  In addition to good services, we are always treated very well when it comes to meals; this day was no exception.  Sunday dinner consisted of ham, potatoes, fruit salad, corn, and green beans.  Dessert was spectacular, with dirt cake and ice cream cake.  We celebrated Brandon's birthday while we were there as well.

The previous week when we were returning to our NJ hotel, little did we know what the following seven days would bring.  Our stress level, in many ways, was lower - the weather seemed to want to make up for that.  You see, during the afternoon and through the evening service, there had been some wintry precipitation.  It was really just a light quantity of snow, and didn't seem troublesome as we left the church that evening.  However, after leaving Stone Ridge to head for New Paltz, the first few miles involve climbing Mohonk Mountain on winding, steep, narrow roads.  As we began to climb those curvy hills with our Mercury Grand Marquis, a rear-wheel-drive car with tires that needed to be replaced, it was clear that traction was limited.  We met a few cars proceeding down the mountain, and they were flashing their lights at us.  We thought that perhaps they were just warning us of the road conditions, and perhaps they were.  On one stretch that was relatively straight for a little while, but also a steady incline, we slowed to a crawl and then finally came to a complete stop!  The car would not move forward at all, and it even began sliding backward a bit, turning sideways as it did so.  It was a very strange feeling to be partly sideways, at an angle, across both lanes of this narrow road, not knowing what to do!  In front of us was the edge of the road with a guardrail, then a steep drop; behind us was a ditch in which we'd certainly get stuck.  I was going to get out of the car to push, but Wendy was afraid I wouldn't have traction to push effectively, or even to stand, so I stayed in the car.  I put it in reverse and managed to edge backward a couple of feet, while still sliding in other directions without control.  Then I turned the tires to the right and tried to move the car forward a bit.  I kept doing this over and over and over, and did seem to be making progress at turning the car slightly.  I honestly I have no idea how long it took to turn around, or how many "points" there were in my turn (it CERTAINLY wasn't a three-point-turn!), but eventually, I convinced the car to point DOWN the hill again.  Obviously, there was no other traffic; we hadn't seen more cars after the two or three vehicles that were coming down flashing their lights at us.  Perhaps they had been unable to crest the mountain as well, and were trying to communicate that through their lights using Morse code!  I waited a couple of minutes as we both let our hearts slow, then I began to let the car creep down the hill, keeping the shifter in first to ensure that the car wouldn't pick up speed, though I certainly wouldn't be able to control it if it began to slide.  We did slip a little from time to time, but we ultimately managed to get back down to the elevation at which the road wasn't glare ice!  Once we did, the road to Kingston (US 209) was nicely clear, and then in Kingston we got back on I-87 to head south again.  It took us quite a bit longer than we had planned to get back "home" that night, but we were very glad to have made it safely, even if later than we preferred.

Once we got to the hotel and checked in, we brought in a few things, had a snack (Kathy had given us some dirt cake to take with us), and went to bed.  Tomorrow was the big day - embryo transfer!