Artistic Moment?

There's a beautiful patch of tiny lavender flowers in our yard right now.  I haven't mowed the grass yet, and I'm glad that the rain delayed me in that effort, otherwise I may never have seen this purple carpet!  After church tonight I decided to see if I could capture it - as it turns out, the sun was also low enough in the sky that it could be seen through the trees at the edge of our yard, so I thought I'd try to be a bit artistic.  Golden hour is a wonderful time to take pictures with soft, gentle lighting, and having the warm colors that it brings out makes this shot particularly appealing to me.  What do you think?

 

Mother's Day 2025

For a very long time, Mother's Day was a difficult Sunday for Wendy (and me); it's been nice to celebrate this special occasion differently over the last 16 years!  (In case you're wondering about my math, we actually did recognize Mother's Day in 2010, since Wendy's pregnancy was progressing well and seemingly without complication.  We were cautious about it, but we still have a framed collage of pictures from NYC that I had made to give her that morning.)

I believe that our circumstances prior to Mathias's birth in 2010 have made us more sensitive to the struggles that others deal with, and for that I'm thankful.  Mother's Day and Father's Day (as well as a lot of other specifically designated holidays), while well-meaning, can be painful reminders for individuals about what they didn't or couldn't, and the hype surrounding many of these events only makes the pain more excruciating.  We've tried to learn from our own experiences and put ourselves in others' shoes - it's not always easy, but it's the compassionate thing to do.

I hope you enjoy these pictures of a Mom sharing a beautiful afternoon with her "little boy."  💗

Morels, Again!

Imagine my excitement when I was collecting some crushed stone from the yard the other day and noticed a morel mushroom growing there, very near the same location where I had discovered the first one since we've lived here!  After it got my attention, I noticed that it had a neighbor as well.  I left these to grow for a couple more days because we were expecting rain, and today I harvested them.  Two of these halves were sauteed with a bit of onion and then cooked in with two scrambled eggs.  Unfortunately, though I had taken this picture of the mushrooms sliced in half, I didn't have the presence of mine, or perhaps just the patience, to take a picture of the finished dish before it ended up in my belly!

Now, of course, this means that Matty and I need to do some foraging this weekend...

It's Been A While...

It's been over 10 years since I added to this 'blog, but it seems like a good way to have a medium through which I can express and document some thoughts while I'm vacationing from Facebook.  Though comments will still be an option, the engagement level of any comment-based dialogue is significantly different here and I think that'll be helpful to disallow anything from happening like it so easily can on other social media platforms.

I've had some clear anxiety about "pulling the plug," even though I'm committed to it.  I have come to rely on Facebook's convenience and the interactions it facilitates between me and so many people who have come to be a part of my life over nearly 59 years of existence in the physical world.  But, that can still happen through Messenger (and likely more meaningfully and intentionally, rather than just out of reactionary convenience), and any "journaling" such as I often turn into Facebook posts can become 'blog entries instead.  For anyone new to this space I created back in 2007, you should be able to look back on any entries that may be of interest to you - perhaps you'll learn more about me and our little family of three than you already knew, including all of the challenges we faced to make that possible!

So this post is just a test, making sure that I still know how to type in a text box provided by a default template.  I'll probably try to share some pictures here as well, and I recall that being a bit more challenging with regard to proper alignment with text and other details that my "graphic designer" brain wants to be a specific way.  But I'll work on it, and I may ask for feedback (as in helpful critique) from anyone who would care to be part of that loop.

"Welcome back, Don!"

"Thank you, Don!"

😁

Coming Home...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010 was a day of mixed emotions.  Our third cycle of in vitro fertilization was over, and had been completely successful to this point.  Wendy was officially PUPO (see my post from the other day for an explanation), and we were officially in the "dreaded two-week wait" (2WW in the language of infertility).  It takes two weeks from the point of embryo transfer for a beta hCG to reveal if a pregnancy has resulted, so the final level of "success" of an IVF cycle is not known until that time has passed.

Thus, returning home was always difficult, as I mentioned in yesterday's post.  We were leaving the location that had already given birth to a heightened level of hope.  From our previous experiences, we had to remain cautiously optimistic, though perhaps we skewed our thoughts toward the caution more than the optimism.  At the same time, it felt very good to have realized the success in each stage to this point...

We slept until 8, since we could.  When we got back home, 5:30 a.m. wakeups would again be the norm.  While we had already prepared for our departure to some extent, and much of our luggage was already in the trunk of the car, we still had some packing and loading to do.  (When I say "we," I mean "me" - Wendy is mostly a supervisor in that regard!)  :)

Since we had enjoyed several breakfasts at the hotel, we skipped it this morning.  When we left around 10:00 in the morning, our first stop was a nearby IHOP, where we enjoyed our "last breakfast out" for this trip.  We ate well.  We were both giddy and subdued.  We were going home, and when we pulled out of the parking lot at IHOP, we headed the car north - we followed Route 208 for a few miles until we could catch I-287, then crossed the NJ-NY border where 287 becomes the Thruway, and barreled home as fast as we legally could, or perhaps just a bit faster.

A bit of a tradition had developed.  My dear Aunt Marilyn, who lives in Saranac Lake, was the first family member we had brought into our circle of confidence a couple of years prior when we were going to NYC for the first time, trying to determine some options for how we may proceed.  Because of that, we've always at least had contact with her on our trips, sometimes just calling her as we pass through Saranac Lake, but often trying to arrange a meal together, if time allows.  On this trip home, we actually went to her apartment and enjoyed a fine meal she prepared for us - spaghetti, Texas toast, and salad.  Then, we headed home from there, arriving in time to join our church family for the midweek service.  It was good to be home.

I miss Paul Harvey at times - I always enjoyed his "The Rest of the Story" segments!  So here it is, to put a more complete context on this series.  Wendy and I, in total, completed four cycles of IVF - the first was in December 2008; pregnancy resulted, and a miscarriage ended those dreams in February 2009.  Our second attempt was in the July of 2009; this cycle produced the best yield of embryos, but no pregnancy resulted, and embryos not transferred did not survive for a later attempt.  This third attempt in January 2010 was successful, in spite of having only two embryos to transfer; however, to add stress to the final stages of our quest to become parents, Mathias Joseph Straight arrived almost 10 weeks early, on August 9, 2010 (8-9-10, and at 9:08 in the morning).  He was not due until mid-October.  Our final cycle took place from July-August 2011, an attempt to provide Mathias with a sibling, from which no pregnancy resulted.  At the end of 2011, based on the recommendation of Wendy's rheumatologist, we discontinued our efforts so she could go on medication to manage her arthritis.

Now, five years after the end of this story, we have a VERY active four-year-old from whom we learn every day.  We are "older parents," and we acknowledge that freely.  But this gift we've been given - a little boy who calls Wendy "Mommy" and me "Daddy" - has helped to make our house a home.  For that, we are forever thankful.  If you've met Mathias, you know that he can warm the heart with a quick smile, a witty remark, or a deep belly laugh.  If you haven't met Mathias, I hope our paths can cross so you can experience some time with the love of our lives.  We hope that through our story, others can benefit, as we did from those who went before us...

http://youtu.be/NOp1Ytuhv-Q

 

A Completely Lazy Day - Doctor's Orders!

On Tuesday, January 26, 2010, Wendy and I had nothing to do, really!  Actually, on the day after embryo transfer there are no restrictions, and we could have come home.  But, for each of our cycles, we've taken that day as a de-stressing day, and just enjoyed having no agenda!  In the world of fertility treatments, the acronym describing Wendy's state of being at this time was PUPO - "pregnant until proven otherwise" - and we just enjoyed the day full of hope, knowing from previous experiences that it may not last as long as we wanted it to.

So, we got up around 8:00 in the morning, and just had breakfast at the hotel, a bagel and a waffle.  Wendy worked some more on grades, and I prepped for classes, since I'd be behind when we did return back; our spring semester had started yesterday, after all, and a colleague was graciously covering my first couple of classes.

We had leftover pizza for lunch, with more relaxation throughout the rest of the day.  At dinner time, we did order some food from Fairmount Eats in Hackensack, NJ, and I went to pick it up; some places delivered conveniently to the Ramada, but it wasn't quite as predictable as when we were in the city.  We enjoyed a quesadilla, mozzarella sticks, onion rings, chicken panini, fries, and a banana dessert.  Whenever we eat out, even though I order something and Wendy orders something, it's always a sharing process, and even more so when we're in a hotel room, and we don't have to be self conscious about eating off each other's plates!  :)

We began to prepare psychologically for the trip home tomorrow.  It's always difficult to leave the hopeful energy of an IVF cycle and return to the humdrum existence that is our lives, with a daily work grind, no housekeeping staff, a limited budget for restaurants, and so on, added to the reality that this might not "take."  But, we knew it was necessary, and we hoped that there were more than two of us along for that return trip...

It's Transfer Day!

On Monday, January 25, 2010, Wendy and I were able to sleep in until 8:00 a.m., which felt really good!  Once we became aware of our surroundings - we were back at the Ramada Inn, no longer in our classy (small) room at The Bentley - we also realized that it was raining something fierce outside!  And, there were very strong winds that we could practically feel, in spite of being in a very solid five-story building.

Not having to leave for the Center for a while, we tended to be a bit lazy this morning.  Unfortunately, the power went out just about the time we were going to get ready, so we got ready in the dark!  At least we had hot water, in spite of the lack of lights in the room...

Finally, we left the hotel a little before noon.  Our trip to the New York Presbyterian Hospital was especially long, since the poor weather caused traffic to be especially heavy and slow; we didn't get to our destination until 1:00 p.m.!

On arrival, I continued a tradition that we had started during our first IVF cycle - at that time (December 2008) we had two embryos to transfer, so we bought two tiny T-shirts at the Cornell University bookstore, one for each of our babies.  Since then, we had bought some memento each time, and this time we bought a stuffed teddy bear wearing a Cornell shirt!

Our appointment at the IVF suite was for 2:00 p.m., so we easily arrived on time.  The transfer took place without incident; one had progressed to contain six cells, and the other had eight cells.  These sizes are quite typical for a three-day transfer.  (We've often joked that probably Mathias was the six-cell embryo, since he was so tiny when he was born nearly 10 weeks early!)  :)

We left the suite around 3:30 p.m., with our babies "in tow."  Leaving the city is never as problematic as entering, seemingly, and we weren't in a hurry anyway, since we were just going back to the hotel to relax for the rest of the evening.  Wendy was supposed to take it easy for the rest of the day, as if she would have planned otherwise!  She finished her grading, and I went to Rite Aid for a few things, since we had one more day before we would head home.  We ordered a simple dinner from Dominos, and then just hung out at "home."  Tomorrow would be a purposefully lazy day, trying to give the babies a chance to get permanently settled, and then we'd head home on Wednesday, once again hopeful for what the future would have in store for us...

A Busy Sunday!

On Sunday, January 24, 2010 Wendy and I got up at 6:00 a.m. to hit the day hard.  Today was a "moving day," since we would be checking out of The Bentley Hotel in NYC and checking back in to the Ramada Inn in Rochelle Park, NJ.  In between those events, we would spend the day in Stone Ridge, NY with our friends the Hallenbecks!  Whew...

We have always enjoyed Jamie Hallenbeck's ministry when visiting their church - he has a thoughtful, well-prepared delivery that makes him easy to listen to, and he always has good things to say.  In addition to good services, we are always treated very well when it comes to meals; this day was no exception.  Sunday dinner consisted of ham, potatoes, fruit salad, corn, and green beans.  Dessert was spectacular, with dirt cake and ice cream cake.  We celebrated Brandon's birthday while we were there as well.

The previous week when we were returning to our NJ hotel, little did we know what the following seven days would bring.  Our stress level, in many ways, was lower - the weather seemed to want to make up for that.  You see, during the afternoon and through the evening service, there had been some wintry precipitation.  It was really just a light quantity of snow, and didn't seem troublesome as we left the church that evening.  However, after leaving Stone Ridge to head for New Paltz, the first few miles involve climbing Mohonk Mountain on winding, steep, narrow roads.  As we began to climb those curvy hills with our Mercury Grand Marquis, a rear-wheel-drive car with tires that needed to be replaced, it was clear that traction was limited.  We met a few cars proceeding down the mountain, and they were flashing their lights at us.  We thought that perhaps they were just warning us of the road conditions, and perhaps they were.  On one stretch that was relatively straight for a little while, but also a steady incline, we slowed to a crawl and then finally came to a complete stop!  The car would not move forward at all, and it even began sliding backward a bit, turning sideways as it did so.  It was a very strange feeling to be partly sideways, at an angle, across both lanes of this narrow road, not knowing what to do!  In front of us was the edge of the road with a guardrail, then a steep drop; behind us was a ditch in which we'd certainly get stuck.  I was going to get out of the car to push, but Wendy was afraid I wouldn't have traction to push effectively, or even to stand, so I stayed in the car.  I put it in reverse and managed to edge backward a couple of feet, while still sliding in other directions without control.  Then I turned the tires to the right and tried to move the car forward a bit.  I kept doing this over and over and over, and did seem to be making progress at turning the car slightly.  I honestly I have no idea how long it took to turn around, or how many "points" there were in my turn (it CERTAINLY wasn't a three-point-turn!), but eventually, I convinced the car to point DOWN the hill again.  Obviously, there was no other traffic; we hadn't seen more cars after the two or three vehicles that were coming down flashing their lights at us.  Perhaps they had been unable to crest the mountain as well, and were trying to communicate that through their lights using Morse code!  I waited a couple of minutes as we both let our hearts slow, then I began to let the car creep down the hill, keeping the shifter in first to ensure that the car wouldn't pick up speed, though I certainly wouldn't be able to control it if it began to slide.  We did slip a little from time to time, but we ultimately managed to get back down to the elevation at which the road wasn't glare ice!  Once we did, the road to Kingston (US 209) was nicely clear, and then in Kingston we got back on I-87 to head south again.  It took us quite a bit longer than we had planned to get back "home" that night, but we were very glad to have made it safely, even if later than we preferred.

Once we got to the hotel and checked in, we brought in a few things, had a snack (Kathy had given us some dirt cake to take with us), and went to bed.  Tomorrow was the big day - embryo transfer!

An Anxious Day...

On Saturday, January 23, 2010, we knew there would be little actual "activity" with regard to our IVF process.  Since eggs had been retrieved the day before, we were simply playing a new waiting game while awaiting a fertilization report.  From that news, we would know if we needed to stay in the city a little longer, or if we were free to return home.  Obviously, we were hoping and praying for the former!

Days like this tended to crawl in many ways.  But, as they say, "No news is good news," and as long as we didn't hear that there WEREN'T embryos, we could still believe that there WERE...

We did manage to sleep in until 7:30 in the morning, knowing there was no reason to awaken early.  Breakfast was eaten in our hotel room - a cinnamon roll that I had bought from the Roy Rogers on my way back to the city a couple of days earlier.  They have very good cinnamon rolls, but the freshness had definitely waned since the original purchase.

As the pressure of a cycle builds, with stage after stage being successfully passed, we made a conscious effort to hold back our excitement.  Becoming too enthusiastic would mean that sudden bad news would seem all that more devastating.  The psychological and emotional highs and lows were often challenging to deal with - at times when we really wanted to celebrate, it seemed "dangerous" to do so.  After all, we had been VERY excited with our pregnancy after IVF #1 in December 2008, and in February 2009, our world crashed around us.  Fool me twice, shame on me?

Lunch consisted of some snacking in the hotel.  Everything about this day was wrapped up in that report, the phone call for which we were waiting, patiently, and anxiously...

Why weren't they calling?  We really should have heard by now, right?  Let's check the phone to see if everything is okay, or if we missed anything...

What, the phone is turned off?  Well, we need to turn it back on!  Right now!

I don't remember all the details of why the phone had been turned off, but I'll never forget the knot in my stomach after the phone had powered up, and I saw that the voicemail indicator was on.  This awareness that the news was already in, but we didn't know it yet.  Should we check the message, or should we just wait?  There was such angst, as I've never experienced in any other circumstance in my 48+ years...

We called.  We heard the report.  I think we both listened with one ear closed...  They had, in fact, retrieved three eggs, but only two were mature.  Big sigh...  But, both of the mature eggs had fertilized successfully, and we needed to stay around for anticipated embryo transfer at 2:00 p.m. on Monday!  Despite our conservative approach, we had to celebrate.  We laughed.  We cried.  We thanked God for giving us another chance to experience the gift of parenthood, and we asked Him for His blessing that we would be able to meet our child(ren) in a few months...

Of course, this meant that a new round of injections had to begin, but those needles were only an inch and a half long, so it wasn't a big deal!  :)

After hanging out in the hotel a bit longer, we left around 3:30 in the afternoon, walking a few blocks to the station for the tram to Roosevelt Island.  We bought MTA cards, and took the tram ride over the East River to the island; it was like a different world, much calmer and slower paced!  We walked around by the water quite a bit, and picked up a few things at the pharmacy there before going back to the station for the tram ride back to Manhattan.  Once there, while walking back to the hotel, we stopped at The Food Emporium to get some supper.  When we arrived back "home," we were in for the rest of the night, our last at The Bentley Hotel.  Tomorrow was Sunday, and it was bound to be a busy day...

Getting the Eggs...

After two LONG days on the road, I rested well overnight; on Friday, January 22, 2010, Wendy and I were able to sleep in a bit, since it was RETRIEVAL DAY!

We were required to be at the hospital at 7:45 a.m., so we left our hotel a little past 7 to walk there.  Wendy was much more comfortable with us walking together, even though she had been quite fine on her own the day before...

Retrieval of the eggs in an IVF cycle is a very precise process.  The trigger shot, a substantial injection of hCG, which helps the egg through its final stages of maturing, and also prompts its release from the ovary.  Thus, retrieval is very specifically timed to be within a 36-hour window from the time of injection of the trigger shot - if it's attempted too soon, then the egg may not be as fully mature as it could be otherwise; if it's a bit too late, then ovulation may have already occurred, and the egg cannot be located.

The atmosphere in the waiting area is much different on retrieval day than it is for daily monitoring, and it's also in a different location.  Daily monitoring is on the sixth floor of the Center for Reproductive Medicine, on the west side of York Ave.  Across the street, covering a two-block stretch from E 68 St to E 70 St, is the New York Presbyterian Hospital, where we had to be today.  There are nice block letters indicating the area where In-Vitro Fertilization is done - I'll never forget the first time we walked under that sign, and the surge of hope that I felt...

Retrieval itself only takes about 15 minutes, and it's done under light sedation.  As soon as it was finished, I was able to go to the small area where Wendy was on her hospital bed, and she generally remembered what the doctor had told her after retrieval - today, she thought he had said that they got three eggs, which was good news, but would be confirmed when a phone call was received later with an official report.

On the way back from the hospital, we stopped at Le Pain Quotidien for lunch - we had previously only gone there for breakfast.  We both ordered "sandwiches," but they were quite nontraditional, though good.  It's always an adventure to learn more about their interpretation of foods!

We relaxed back at The Bentley, took a nap (naturally) and then ordered some delicious, celebratory Chinese food for dinner from Chef Ho's.  The evening's fare included General Tso's Chicken, Pork Lo Mein, Beef with Broccoli, and Egg Rolls.  It was delicious, and we ate the entire order - no leftovers!  Knowing that we wouldn't have to get up early the next day, we stayed up pretty late; we've always been a bit giddy at this stage of a cycle, knowing that it had been successful to that point, as far as we knew.

A Day Alone...

After the late-night challenges from the previous day, Thursday, January 21, 2010 started early for both Wendy and me.  I was at home, by myself, up early to get ready for a day at SUNY Potsdam for two purposes - I was presenting in the morning for the Annual Teaching and Learning with Technology day, and then I was presenting in the afternoon for our semesterly student teaching seminar.  Student teaching was scheduled to begin on Monday, January 25, coinciding with the start of our spring semester, as always.

Meanwhile, on the upper east side of Manhattan, Wendy was getting ready to be at CRM by 6:30 a.m.  The morning after a trigger shot is a longer process than other morning monitoring, with an actual "class" in which all the details of egg retrieval, the IVF process, and the subsequent return of embryos to the womb, are discussed.  It's a pretty intense morning, and Wendy had to participate alone!  Additionally, she had to walk the eight blocks to the Center in the dark in order to be there on time.  Fortunately, that section of the city is a nice residential and professional area, so it was no problem at all for her.

After the testing and information session, Wendy walked back to the hotel, stopping at a Mobil station to get a muffin an some juice.  She napped for a while, as had become our custom during cycles, then had to return to the Center for a 1:30 p.m. appointment with her doctor, Owen Davis.  Having had a hysteroscopy shortly before this cycle, he was doing a followup to see the condition of her insides prior to the end stage of the process.  Things looked good, and she walked back to the hotel afterward, taking a slight detour to stop at McDonald's for a late lunch!

Not much happened on her end of things for the rest of the day, while my day was pretty packed from start to finish.  After getting very little sleep the night before, I gave my morning presentation, then had a 15-minute break to walk across campus and start my second presentation in the afternoon.  When I wrapped up the day around 3:30 p.m., I left campus and headed south, arriving back at the hotel at 9:45.  I made really good time, but was I ever tired!  :)

Within Walking Distance!

On Wednesday, January 20, 2010, Wendy and I realized a distinct advantage of "living" in the city during our IVF cycle - we actually didn't have to get up until 6:00 a.m.!  Now, that may not be exciting to you, but it was a whole extra hour for us...

We weren't sure how long it would take us to walk to the Center, so we paid attention - it ended up taking us about 12 minutes.  Of course, there were no parking hassles today, but there was a room FULL of people there, and we ended up waiting about an hour for our appointment.  (During daily monitoring at CRM, there are no appointment times - on arrival, Wendy would swipe her card, at least most days, if you read my reflections from a week ago, and that would put her in the queue to be called back for the day's required tests.  So, to wait an hour was pretty significant, and quite unusual.  But, it all depends on where different people are in their cycle as to how many will show up on any given day.)

After we were called in, we left the Center and headed back to the Bentley.  (It makes me feel classy even now, five years later, to know that we stayed in a place called "The Bentley."  Does that make me strange?)  However, there was no breakfast included there, so we went to Le Pain Quotidien (www.lepainquotidien.com) for our breakfast.  If you've never been to this restaurant chain, it's an interesting place.  They have delicious breads ("Le Pain Quotidien" is French for "The Daily Bread"), the environment is rustic, and they are all about natural, organic foods.  We always enjoyed our visits there, even though they pushed us, or at least Wendy, out of our comfort zones!

Walking back from breakfast, we also stopped to get a few groceries, things that wouldn't spoil without being in a refrigerator, of course.  Since Wendy was going to be on her own when I left, we wanted to be sure she had what she needed until I got back.

This is when things got fun - I left around 10:30 in the morning, since I had to be at Potsdam on Thursday for meetings and student teaching seminars.  While I was on my trip home, Wendy got the call that THIS was the night she would have to do her "trigger shot," which is an intramuscular injection given in the "rear quadrant," something she had always counted on me to administer.  There may have been some panicking involved.  There may have been a somewhat frantic husband calling CRM nurses in NYC to arrange for a visit to the hotel so the shot could be given by someone else, even though it was going to cost $100 or more for that service.  There may have been some phone conversations of encouragement, followed by a self-administration of the shot, with a followup report that she "thought she did it right."  Regardless, by that time (11:15 p.m.), we were both glad to have it behind us.

I stayed up really late preparing everything I needed to do for the next day, and went to bed in the wee hours, well after it was already Thursday.  But, those details should wait until tomorrow's post...

Moving to the City!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010 was an exciting day!  Because of my schedule at SUNY Potsdam, I needed to return from NYC for a short time, and Wendy needed to be in a location where she could get to CRM without a vehicle.  We were fortunate to find reasonable accommodations at The Bentley Hotel, just a few blocks away from the hospital, so we reserved a room there for five nights.  We weren't sure how much longer the cycle would take, but five nights seemed safe, and we could move back to NJ, if necessary, to save money if the cycle went longer.

We arose early again this morning, after sleeping fitfully.  Wendy thought we may have taken too many naps the previous day, but we might have been excited about actually staying in Manhattan as well, who knows?  Regardless, getting out of bed early was a bit easier today than it was other days...

Results at CRM were encouraging - though growth still seemed a bit slow, the follicles were steadily getting larger, measuring 15.5, 14.5, and 13 mm this morning.  Estrogen levels were good as well.

We returned to the Ramada Inn, had breakfast, then packed up our belongings so we could check out by noon.  We did, then had some time to pass before we could check into The Bentley, so we went to the mall to do some "shopping."  I always have to put that word in quotes, since we don't ever buy much at a mall, but we like to walk around and look!  We also managed to find something suitable for lunch there, at a place called Great Wraps.  They were pretty great, actually - Wendy had Philly steak, and I had Buffalo chicken!  For dessert, we had ice cream at The Cold Stone Creamery, so yum!

Finally, we headed back in to the city, arriving at our hotel around 2:50 p.m., a bit before checkin.  We actually had to wait a while for our room to be ready, but the lobby was quite nice, if a bit busy.  This may have been the fanciest place we've stayed, with a lot of service people; what that really means is a lot of people expecting tips!  I'm not very knowledgeable about such things, so I may have either overpaid or insulted people with the amounts I gave, when I had some cash available.

I went for a walk that evening.  One neat thing about the streets in NYC is that the east-west streets are precisely designed, and 20 blocks is one mile.  So, I walked 10 blocks and back, meaning I covered a full mile.  It was a lot better scenery than walking on a treadmill at the other hotel!

Naturally, we needed dinner a bit later, so we ordered delivery from Belmora Pizza - wings, fries, a sausage roll, and a loaded pizza.  Our room was very small, and didn't have a refrigerator, but we could keep some leftovers cool to use the next day, and that was our plan.  Staying stocked with ice for the cooler was also interesting, since ice was not accessible to the public - we had to call the front desk, and a service person would bring a bucket of ice to the door, naturally expecting a tip for doing so!  :)

Another Week Begins...

On Monday, January 18, 2010, Wendy and I once again got up very early to go into NYC so that new bloodwork and ultrasound scans could be completed.  Things seemed kind of slow this round, with only three follicles making themselves evident at 14, 14.5, and 10 mm respectively.

The morning commutes typically resulted in arrival at CRM around 7:00, or a bit earlier.  Monitoring was generally done quite quickly, and the trip out of the city almost never took as long as it did to come into the city.  So, we were back at the hotel in time to have breakfast there, which helped save expense of the meal outside.  Today, we enjoyed Belgian waffles!  (Actually, since CRM is a Center of Excellence for Infertility treatments in New York State, and it is more than 100 miles from our home, the insurance coverage was "complete," actually including meal expenses.  But, we still tried to keep those expenses down, since there was a limit on the total amount of coverage for these efforts, which we ultimately didn't exhaust in four full cycles.)

As was common, we had a nap as the day wore on, then went to Gotham City Diner for lunch.  This was a place we had discovered on our first visit in December 2008, and I would heartily recommend it to anyone visiting the Paramus, NJ area.  They have great lunch fare!  We enjoyed a Calypso Chicken Sandwich and a Malibu Chicken Panini, with Oreo cheesecake and Snickers chocolate gelato for dessert!  Mmmmm!!

We returned to the hotel for more laziness, then got a call from the hospital to decrease one of the medications (Follistim) to 300 units for tonight's shots.  The Menopur dosage remained at 150, and Lupron at 10.  (This was actually the first "Lupron flare" protocol Wendy had been instructed to do.  Our first cycle was a "long Lupron" cycle, and the second was an antagonist cycle, using Ganirelix.  Those medication names may not mean much to a lot of people...)

And so, as always, we waited...

Back to the Routine!

January 17, 2010 was a Sunday, and we definitely could not sleep in again!  In fact, we had to get up at 5:00 a.m. to have time for the morning's events.  We went to CRM early for bloodwork, then left Manhattan, heading for Stone Ridge, NY to spend the day with Hallenbecks and attend church with them.  We are always treated well there, and this day was no exception - the dinner fare included steak, scalloped potatoes, vegetables, deviled eggs, salad, and pineapple upside-down cake for dessert!  Yum - I'm getting hungry just typing this!

After the evening service, we headed back to NJ.  It was a rainy trip, but it certainly could have been worse, being January, so we weren't complaining!  After arriving at the hotel, we had a little snack, then relaxed a bit, going to bed at a decent hour to prepare for an early morning trip the next day.

Now that daily checks were happening again, we were looking forward to seeing some activity!

Free for Three...

Saturday, January 16, 2010 was the last day we could sleep in, at least for the time being, and so we did.  Since I like Indian food, we were planning to go to an Indian restaurant we had discovered in that area (BHOJ) for lunch, and thus we skipped breakfast.  (Wendy doesn't really care much for Indian food, but this place has a buffet, and she was able to find foods she could "enjoy," so she indulges me when we're in that area.)

The morning was lazy, and then after lunch we went to a Target store nearby, and bought some soda to stock up the refrigerator back "home."  We didn't do much in the afternoon either, though a long nap did take place, and we also filled the car up with gas, since Sunday would involve a decent amount of traveling.

We had never eaten at Popeye's before, so we got chicken for dinner from there.  The restaurant wasn't really what we were expecting, I guess - it was really just like a fast food chicken joint.  But, it was pretty good!

Before calling it a night, Wendy took her three injections - Lupron had been decreased to 10 units, Follistim was 450, and Menopur was 150.  We were hoping that our visit the next morning would show that some growth was happening!

A Second Day of Freedom!

Friday, January 15, 2010 was another day that did not require an alarm to be set.  Prescribed medications generally take a couple of days to begin having an effect on the development of "oocytes," as they're called, so the start of a cycle always feels a bit more like a vacation than it does later on, when the stakes are higher for things to be working properly.  So, Wendy and I slept in again, then enjoyed breakfast at the hotel.  (Since breakfast at the Rochelle Park Ramada Inn ends at 9:00, we were never able to sleep in very late!)

On this day, the Midwinter Youth Convention was to begin in Albany, NY, at the Pineview Community Church, and we were planning to drive there to attend the opening services.  Since Albany is a shopping destination of sorts, compared to where we live, and we have quite a few friends in that area, we decided to make the trip a multi-purpose endeavor.  Around noon, we left the hotel, stopping first at the Crossgates Mall when we arrived in Albany.  After wandering for a bit, we left and went to our friends' house in Schenectady.  Mark and Gina Vosburgh were gracious hosts, and we enjoyed a delicious dinner of pizza, salad, chips, and brownie sundaes for dessert!

Following the meal and fellowship, we went to the Youth Convention service, where a good message was shared by Rev. Joel Byer.

It is strongly encouraged that the injections for each evening be administered at approximately the same time.  Since it's about a two-hour trip from Albany to where we were staying, we really needed to complete those before returning "home," and we were prepared to do so.  We were able to utilize a small prayer room at the Pineview church, with permission of those in charge, and successfully took the evening's medication before departure.

Having only two meals during the day was unheard of, so we stopped at Roy Rogers on the way back to NJ, splitting a chicken sandwich  and some fries.  We purchased a couple of other goodies to take back to our hotel for a later time, supplementing the "supplies" with which we had already stocked our small refrigerator there.  Again, there's no question that food was an outlet during the stressful times of our fertility treatments; that fact may be even more clear from a retrospective vantage point...

When we arrived back at our hotel room, we were energized and alert, and ended up staying awake until about 3:00 a.m.  We already knew we didn't have to go to CRM early the next morning, so there was no urgency to go to bed early.  My, how our hotel habits have changed since Mathias joined us!!

A Day Off...

On Thursday, January 14, 2010, Wendy and I got to sleep in!  As is often the case in the early stages of an IVF cycle, once the treatments begin, monitoring every single day is not necessary until things start "happening."  So, after waking up without any assistance, we enjoyed breakfast at the hotel.  (For our first cycle in December 2008, this hotel did not offer any breakfast, but the amenities had change in the year that followed, and a great, hot breakfast - with a lot of options - was available to guests every day!)

After breakfast, we had a lazy morning.  Later in the day, we went to Walmart to get a few things we needed, then went to the mall (Garden State Plaza) to window shop!  We really enjoyed this mall on each of our stays in NJ, since its entrance is right across the street from the Ramada Inn.  This day, we had lunch there at the Bourbon Street Grille, sharing some delicious New Orleans-style selections; I'll spare you the details...

The rest of the day was more laziness.  We had leftovers for dinner in our hotel room, I took another walk on the treadmill, and Wendy added Follistim and Menopur injections to the Lupron protocol already underway.  Things were moving forward, as always, one day at a time...

The Beginning of Cycle #3

January 13, 2010 was a Wednesday.  After a late evening arrival in Rochelle Park, NJ the previous night, and then staying up too late before getting to bed, 5:00 a.m. was a rude awakening!  But then, isn't it always?  Neither Wendy nor I are morning people, in the traditional sense, so we made sure we had "electronic assistance" to arise at the proper time for a trip into New York City.

To add insult to the injury of getting up before the sun, the hot water was not working in the shower, so the assistance we really needed to wake up was provided courtesy of our hotel!  Brrr!!!

As I've mentioned before, the trip from our hotel to the treatment facility (The Center for Reproductive Medicine) was about 18 miles.  If we left early enough, it would take about a half hour; if we left slightly later, it could take closer to two hours!  This time, we actually made the trip quite quickly, but unfortunately Wendy forgot part of the protocol when we arrived, which involved "checking in" electronically, by swiping her card, which would trigger a nurse calling her in for a consultation.  After two hours, we finally checked into why everyone else was going in and we weren't; it was rather embarrassing when we discovered the error on our part...  :)

Once we finished at CRM, we went "across town" to the Apthorp Pharmacy to get medications we needed.  Back in NJ, we got some groceries at Shop Rite, then headed back to the hotel, stocked our refrigerator with the groceries, and relaxed for the rest of the day.  A simple lunch of sandwiches, a walk on the treadmill, then dinner from the microwave completed our day.  But, sitting around doing nothing begets snacking, so I made a late snack run to the store, getting some store-made egg rolls, barbecue ribs, lo mein, and wings.  Though they were mostly disappointing, no doubt having been under the warming lights for a while, they did serve their purpose, and were followed by a vending machine dessert.  Clearly, one of our coping mechanisms for the stress of our situation was food!

Wendy began her injection sequence with 20 units of Lupron that evening.  She never had a problem doing the subcutaneous injections herself, but I had always been responsible for the intra-muscular needles later in the cycle...

Five Years Later - Reflecting Back On The One That Worked...

Today is January 12, 2015, which is a big day for the Straight family.  Five years ago, Wendy and I headed to Rochelle Park, NJ after her school day was done.  We stopped at Roy Rogers on the Thruway, in New Baltimore, for a late dinner; that had effectively become a tradition for us any time we went to The Big Apple, and this trip was no different.

We had done this routine before, which certainly impacted our emotions for subsequent efforts.  Since we had been given a glimpse of hope for having a family in early 2008, highs and lows abounded.  When our very first attempt at in-vitro fertilization resulted in pregnancy, something we found out on Christmas Day in 2008, we were ecstatic.  However, what was supposed to be a routine checkup in February 2009 gave us the terribly sad news that our baby was no longer alive, and then we were devastated.  A second round of IVF in the summer of 2009 was successful in the laboratory only, with no resultant pregnancy.  So, we went into this third cycle with measured optimism trying to peek out from behind a significant dose of harsh reality from our experiences to this point...

We arrived at our "home away from home," the Ramada Inn at Rochelle Park, NJ, around 10:00 p.m.  The next morning, we'd head to Manhattan, as we had so many times before.  That visit would establish some baseline data for the start of another treatment cycle.  We suspected there would be some logistical complications, since my spring semester at SUNY Potsdam would begin shortly, likely before we were finished and able to return home.  We hadn't made all of the arrangements for that yet, but there would be time.

As always, it was a somewhat giddy evening, and we didn't get to sleep until January 12 was in the past.  Hilarity helps to suppress despair, at least on the surface.  But, sleep was necessary, ultimately...